Bullying and Body Image
Bullying is not just a child’s painful dilemma. Bullying happens to adults too, in so many subtle and not so subtle ways. Belittling comments to others or about others, such as gossip, is bullying. Have you ever felt punched by someone’s words? How about when it comes to how you look, your weight, or what you eat?
Subtle bullying can be called “License to Comment”. It’s when people comment about your appearance, your height, your weight, what you order in the restaurant, your clothes, or about what’s in your grocery cart. The comments usually have an air of judgment about them. After they are said to you….you wonder: What just happened? And it makes you feel like you want to hide, or leave. Sometimes the effect is holding your breath or even eating to stuff these feelings down. These subtle bullies get away with it because their comments might come across as funny at first, or seemingly harmless, and no one confronts them. But your internal reaction is giving you signals. This is your bully radar.
Bullies don’t have good boundaries. They usually have some insecurities in the area that they are picking on you for. They might even be threatened by the changes you are making. Your courage to change actually makes them feel worse.
So how do we get that bully to back off without creating a scene? Or going into a long discussion to justify what you are doing. You don’t have to justify anything! But our responses can stop this kind of bully in their tracks. Saying something like: And this would be important…why? Or just plain Really? How about if I pay attention to what I eat and I promise not to pay attention to what you eat? Sometimes pointing out the absurdity of the comment can get the bully to back off. Or as my niece Kate says: ”Hey,stay out of my Kool-aide!”
As you embark on your weight loss journey you may encounter many of these folks who seem to think they have the “license to comment” on your food choices or the other changes you are making in your life. Remember you don’t need to justify how you eat, exercise, or look. You are making healthy choices for you. Not for Tom, Dick or Mom.
Let’s put an end to bullying about weight loss and appearance and get on with our lives. Are you with me? Start Losing, Start Winning, Start!
